#it looks like it physically hurts him to say it too #he’s just spitting it out like it’s sour on his tongue #because it is #it’s his life and living and he has to tell john of all people
#REMEMBER HOW THE ONLY THING THAT EVER MATTERED TO SHERLOCK WAS BEING RIGHT #AND HAVING PEOPLE KNOW HE WAS BRILLIANT EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T APPRECIATE IT #HE’S FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT MATTERS MORE #AND HE HAD TO SACRIFICE ONE OR THE OTHER
#but it was never a choice #he doesn’t think about making one #he just knows he’ll do it #he’ll do it for john #he’ll do everything for john #for his safety and happiness #he’ll leave everything that’s mattered to him behind #everything he’s worked for #it doesn’t matter anymore#nothing apart from john matters #he’d stab himself #he’d kill other people #he’d kill himself #he’d live a hundred lifetimes and die a hundred times #if only that’d mean john’d be safe #’cause it’s all for john #only and always for john