taladraco:

Roommate: They have cars we can borrow for the day.

Me: Oh! Let’s borrow the car. Can I drive?

Roommate: You don’t have a legal license.

Me: So? We’re borrowing it. No one said wet had to tell anyone we were borrowing it.

Roommate: Are the keys in the ignition?

Me: I can hotwire it.

Roommate: Can you hotwire a car?

Me: I have Google. I can hotwire a car.

Roommate: Well I have tumblr.

Me: Between Google and Tumblr, we can hotwire a car.