So give me hope in the darkness
That I will see the light.
– “Ghosts That We Knew” by Mumford & SonsCastiel x Jack Harkness
This is so beautiful I wrote a ficlet:
Jack Harkness was dying. Lungs screaming for air, blood pounding in ears. Ever since the nearly two thousand years under Cardiff, suffocation had been number two on the list of least favorite ways to die. Fiery explosion was still number one. Hands fought uselessly against the encroaching darkness as panic took over. But then, in the last moment of conscious though, a warm hand grabbed his and held him through the end.
When Jack gasped awake again Castiel was crouching by his side. The purple emergency lights gave a strange and eerie glow. Jack coughed and sat up.
“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, crawling to a panel to check the ship. Life support was running at minimum, just enough for one or two on the great ship.
“You predicted it would come back online,” said Castiel. “You saved 1300 people.”
Jack shrugged. “Someone had to stay behind. It’s not heroic if you know you’ll wake up again after.” He could still taste the stale air on his tongue and shivered. “Why are you here?”
“You still hate to die.” Castiel moved closer to him.
Jack didn’t want to think about it. “It’s cold and dark and empty. What’s not to love?” He gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Castiel held his arms and leaned in to kiss him. Jack breathed in the air warmed by his lungs, feeling life flowing down his veins.
The coat was nearby. He picked it up and got unsteadily to his feet. “My bunk. Then I need to be off before the salvage ship arrives.”
The tiny cabin of an ordinary mechanic wasn’t far. Jack stripped and climbed into the bunk. Castiel removed his own clothes and slipped in next to him, warming Jack’s skin with his own. Jack held him close and kissed him again. “ I called you, didn’t I?”
“You think of many things when you are dying.”
“We’ll we’re both naked in my bunk. Rather think about that.” Jack rolled on top of him and kissed him deeply, still reveling in breathe and air and warmth. Castiel ran soothing hands down his back, making him moan softly. He flipped them over and settled between Jack’s thighs, moving against him.
He was uncertain this was wise, so soon after a death and resurrection, but it was Jack’s need and desire echoing in his head; Jack’s need to be alive and not alone.
“Cas.” Jack whispered in his ear, rolling his hips against him.
Castiel kissed him tenderly, feeling Jack’s fingers digging into his arms, leaving bruises if he were anyone else. So much need and desire. Such a lonely candle in the dark.
“You’re my light,” whispered Jack, perhaps catching a bit of his thoughts. “The others…fireflies in an evening. But you…” He groaned and came between them.
“A firefly as well,” said Castiel softly as he settled against his chest, head tucked under his chin. Jack stroked his hair. He brought up a bit of grace between his fingers, brighter than the dim emergency lights. Jack could feel his strength returning. “I know you need to go. But please, stay. Just for a little bit. Salvage won’t get here that quick.”
Castiel nodded, closed his eyes and listened to the steady beat of Jack’s heart.