Dear Mark,
I’m a very ordinary girl writing to an amazing extraordinary person and I don’t know how to start this little letter because my sincere love and huge admiration to you, as a person and actor, are so big that I don’t know if there are enough words to express my feelings. The first time I saw you on screen, I was so mesmerized and fascinated by you that I couldn’t sleep well many nights thereafter. You brought a sunlight and pure happiness to my life in my darkest period. I’m a 19-year-old pianist from a small country, struggling with the problems that money cause and fighting to survive when nobody sees and notices me. I have a problem with my right eye, and I have always been the weird girl with crossed eye. But you are the person who deeply inspires me every second of my life to continue fighting because it’s worth it, life is worth it, we are worth it. And we are gonna win, everything that is out there and troubles us, we will fight and we will win. Thanks to you and your few mentions to me on twitter, now I’m more confident with myself, and I can think about a better future and I can solve my problems, not letting them to haunt and destroy me. You are not only my favourite actor but my favourite person. And I know to you I’m just a fan, there are millions like me, loving and admiring you, but to me you are the only one, you are special and unique. And I love you for everything you are. I don’t know if I’ll be able to meet you in person one day but this is my biggest dream, and I believe that dreams come true.
With so much love,
Konstanca
Konstanca, thank you so much for this very kind letter.
It’s tough being a human being. There is no denying that. Everyone of us struggles with one thing or another, some things more visible then others, but no one gets through this without struggling at some point. It is my belief that this struggle, these “hardships” are in themselves a kind of gift. From these things we are offered an opportunity to grow and develop depth of character and breadth of compassion. You have been given gifts to deal with these difficulties like your gift for music. Hold tightly to that, that will never lead you astray.
The difficult part of being young is having to look for validation from the world around you. That is a natural process and popular culture puts a great deal of importance on things like looks and materialism, but that is not what leads to peace and contentment. Peace and contentment come from an entirely different journey. Those things come from an inner journey and a relationship that primarily involves the self. It really is the relationship you have with your self that presents the key to the “kingdom”, so to speak. That journey is one of Love and understanding and compassion. Imagine how you would treat a child that was dealing with the things that you are struggling with. You would be very kind to that child and would have compassion for it and probably would be very forgiving of it’s shortcomings. That’s really how you have to treat yourself. No one is perfect. Every single human being has their flaws and shortcomings, trust me. Everyone can be better in one aspect or another. I am saying accept what you have to work on with kindness and compassion. Know what your shortcomings are and set off to work on them. Be gentle with your struggle, if it was easy it would not be worth a damn. But do not be brutal or disparaging toward yourself. Give yourself credit for the work you accomplish and be proud of your gifts, be proud of your accomplishments and celebrate them in your own way the way that feels right to you.
Lastly, and what really seems the most difficult for so many people, is the business of loving yourself. I don’t mean to sound cliche but I have really come to find that is probably the only place to begin. It seems to me everything else springs from that; how you treat your life and the people around you, the mate you choose, the quality of your life, the way the world looks to you. Many of us are looking on the outside for what we will not find and forgetting that what we are looking for we are carrying with us.
So, go easy on yourself. Yes, push yourself every day to be the best you can be and improve your work your mind, your body and your relationships. Work hard to achieve the things you want to achieve. Find out who you are, by looking into yourself, by listening to your hunches and cultivating your tastes, exploring your desires. Be courageous and daring with your interests and your work, with you, your music. The rest will come in due course, or not, but I promise you, you will feel whole. Turn your look for love inward, what you will find there is vast and divine and quietly waiting for your return. Be patient with that too. That too is like a fine growing thing that develops over time.
I too am on the same journey. I too am developing, I am not there, I too am finding my own way, working on my shortcomings, learning to be kind and generous with myself and those I love. I am a lot older then you and still have a lot to learn. I am a work in progress, I know that I will be until my last breath. Don’t be fooled by celebrity nor the appearance of things. I appreciate your admiration but I am doing the same dance you are. I am fortunate that I am where I am today. I don’t know how I got here. I am surprised myself by it often. I am grateful for it but do not believe that I am above you nor anyone else for that matter. We are all making our way. I don’t care if it’s the biggest damn star or brightest thinker or most beautiful person they are all doing the best they can and are struggling in one way or another. Believe me, I see it all the time, and it makes me feel good to know that I am not alone.
I read your note and know that you are on your way. I suppose this is a kind of open letter to myself at your age. I felt very much the way you do now. Always struggling with money, not liking the way I looked, not feeling like I fit in in the world, fighting, always fighting, wanting the world to be different. Not feeling understood. Fighting is good, but not when it is fighting yourself. Changing the world is good but first one has to start inside and concurrently make that place right. The strife and the ugliness in the world is the outward manifestation of this troubled relationship we have within on a whole.
That is my humble response to you. It comes from my experience. It is only my point of view. I hope that it is helpful. I wish you all the best in your endeavors thank you for your note,
Best
Mark R