mostlikelydefinitelymad:

john when mycroft deduces him: wtf stay out of my therapists’ files you horses ass, just leave me alone and stay away from sherlock

john when wiggins deduces him: no absolutely not we’re not doing this ill sprain your other arm if you don’t stop it, those are my secrets and none of your business and thank you very much we’re having a lot of heterosexual sex I mean she’s pregnant isn’t she? I proved that we do have sex so you’re wrong you’re so wrong

john when irene deduces him: you know what? no. some of what you said might be true but just….stop all of this and tell sherlock you’re alive or you’ll live to regret it

john when sherlock deduces him: wow that was amazing, incredible, you’re a real live angel that fell from the heavens and into my lap please can we go to dinner together and have sex and live forever at 221B