stilllovingdisney:

flandusism:

“if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot”

yo i’m straight not blind

One time a nun at my school saw a hot guy and said “woah God did a nice job on that one” and we all looked at her like ??? and she goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”

“I’m married, not dead.”

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