teashoesandhair:

roachpatrol:

followthebluebell:

rebelarian:

kehinki:

I want an inverse spy flick. The spy is a woman. Her whole team is made up of diverse women. All the villains are women. There is only one man in the entire movie and he is a Strong Male Character who is like 25 and decently ripped and has a scene where he slowly steps out of a pool wearing speedos because he is Confident and In Control of His Sexuality. We see his ass when he has to tug down his pants to get at the knife strapped to his thigh. His nipples are always erect for no fucking reason.

They are undercover in a nightclub. In order to keep their cover from being blown, he has to kiss another man. 

He knits to relieve stress and to keep his mind sharp. It is never discussed by any of the characters. 

Someone asks him how he knows how to do Traditionally Feminine Thing. “I have four sisters,” he answers.

This is also how he knows how to fight while armed with nothing but a purse, a high heel shoe, and a can of hair spray.  During this fight, he is, for no apparent reason, shirtless.

The lead spy is Helen Mirren. She nails the Action Boy in the shower. There’s a lot of lingering closeups on the way the shower spray runs across his breathlessly ecstatic face. We also hear every breathless whimper of his climax, while out in the hallway Lucy Liu is smoking impatiently, a duffel bag full of rocket launchers slung over her shoulder. The President isn’t going to kidnap herself, here, christ. 

Action Boy emerges in a small towel, sheepish yet radiant. Helen Mirren emerges in a tuxedo, also smoking, also with a duffel bag of rocket launchers. 

In one scene, the lead villain captures the Strong Male Character. He is, once more, inexplicably shirtless as she ties him to the chair. He makes some quips about his sexual independence before he is rescued by a sweat-drenched Helen Mirren, who kicks down the door and nukes everyone in the room. Strong Male Character’s hair remains perfect throughout the ordeal.