From the askbox:

unfuckyourhabitat:

[…]why doesn’t your page say terrifying motivation anymore?[…]

Every so often, someone asks me why I changed the UfYH tagline from “Terrifying motivation for lazy people with messy homes” to “You’re better than your mess.” I did that a couple of years ago, and some people really identified with the original phrase and don’t get why it changed.

UfYH has been around in some form or another for about five years. I run it by myself, and I am a human being who is constantly learning things about other human beings. UfYH started really small, aimed at my small group of friends, for the purpose of basically yelling at people until they did the stuff they were putting off. And what I said and how I said it reflected that. And then things kind of grew past that original group of people.

As UfYH grew, I learned things about the people who were using it. I learned that there were people who were drawn to it for whatever reason who had complicated relationships with cleaning. And then, kinda suddenly, there were a lot of people I didn’t know, and I learned things about them, too. People with disabilities. People (like me) with mental illness. People who were hoarders, or children of hoarders. People who have lived through abuse. People who struggle with cleaning for so many reasons. And I learned things about the words I use. That “lazy” and “terrifying” and “excuses” can be weapons. That different phrases and tones resonate differently with people. I learned that you can be stern and kind at the same time. That compassion can coexist with structure.

Basically, I changed the tagline because where UfYH started is not where it is now. It’s not so mean anymore. Structured, sure. Stern, at times. But I’ve learned, and grown, and tried to listen to the people who use this resource. I’ve tried to change in a way that makes me better and makes UfYH better and makes it usable for more people. Some people really liked that it was mean. I got to the point where I didn’t like that aspect of it very much anymore. It didn’t feel right, so I changed, and it changed.

It doesn’t work for everyone, and I accept that. There are a lot of resources out there for people looking to clean their houses. But there are very few resources that take into account the variety of people who need them, and the different factors in their lives that influence how they live. So I’m always trying to be better at reaching those people, and sometimes that means changing the way I do things and learning from my mistakes and missteps. Words are important to me. I use a lot of them, and it’s important for me to think about them and what they mean to other people, and to change them if I need to.