lolrider:

faedex:

spitandvinegar:

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

– that man really salts my melon!

– you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

– a louse will live on any head it lands on

– don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

– there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

– like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.