This anon’s remark is in response to my post “Monsters in the Classroom,” should you be looking for context.
“Just-my-thoughts” Anon,
We don’t bat an eye at a straight teacher talking about their husband or wife or how many children they have. I’ve seen pregnant teachers give a first grade class a very basic birds and the bees talk and no one declared any of that inappropriate. But simply stating to my students that “I’m queer” is inappropriate? I am sorry, but I don’t see how that is the case. I didn’t give a breakdown of my sex life; I simply stated that I was queer as part of a unit on identity.
My students are adults. They are all 18 years or older and are in college, but even if they were younger than that, I refuse to play the game of ‘oh, queer people exist but not here!’ that so many public schools demand their teachers play. All that game accomplishes is making queer students feel isolated, which in turn leads to a higher rate of depression, self-harm, and suicide, and allows for straight students to keep queer people as an “Other.”
I’m not particularly fond of the “It Gets Better” narrative, because that ignores the very real problems that young queer people are experiencing in their schools right now. If I can do something about that, even if it is simply letting them know that they are not alone, I will do that. I can understand if you do not feel comfortable talking about such issues with your students– that is your judgment call and no one should feel like they have to discuss their sexuality. But I have reached a point in my life where my continued silence feels like a betrayal to the students still trying to figure themselves out.
As for discrimination, I’ve talked about a variety of forms of discrimination in my class. You are right. It is incredibly important to talk about general issues of equality. That day, however, was focused on issues of discrimination in regards to gender and sexuality. I am not sure what a medium response looks like when a student very clearly states that all queer people deserve to die, especially when that student knew before that day in class that at the very least the teacher is queer.
Ultimately, though, I was not concerned about my safety. The reason I drew the focus specifically to me is because every semester I have at least a few queer students and some of them had just heard that a fellow student wanted them dead. Given that this statement came on the heels of a discussion of a man at our school beating two gay men, as well as an article in which a trans woman talked about the violence that plagues the trans community, this was not simply an idle, throwaway comment (if such a comment can ever be idle). So yes, I made myself the target instead of letting the other students in my class feel unsafe. I didn’t kick the student out, which I was well within my rights to do so, but I did stop him from continuing to voice his bigoted commentary by confronting him with an actual queer person. It’s much easier to spew hateful words when the target is nebulous, but when that target now has a face? Much harder. I made him seriously think about what he just said and then I proceeded to give him and the class the tools to understand why so often men feel threatened by homosexuality.
My original post was not me bragging about taking down a student a couple of notches. It was me asking the basic questions, “What do you do when a student expresses this level of hate? How do you remain impartial? Should you remain impartial?” I can’t say that I 100% dealt with the situation in the correct manner. I know I didn’t. I will most certainly revisit this moment in the coming years and wonder what I could have done differently. I am human and this was a very difficult moment for me, but I also won’t say that I was inappropriate by talking about and confronting hateful speech in my classroom. I didn’t insult the student, but I did cut him off from further expressing his harmful ideas. I won’t apologize or feel bad about reminding a student that a classroom may be a “captive” audience, but that doesn’t mean they share the same bigoted, violent views as he does.
Wow. I read the post you linked to and then came back and read this one, and can I just say, hats off to you.
In my experience teaching theories of gender and sexuality in a university context, I think you did everything very well and bravely. In that context, I think it is less effective if you leave yourself out of the equation, and that includes confronting bigotry, and that includes owning your own identity. Otherwise, it becomes the elephant in the room, and we’re all familiar with how that goes.
In adult education, when someone comes into your classroom with a confrontational attitude and energy, sometimes the only thing you can do is knock ‘em down. They aren’t going to learn in that state. Maybe they can be an example. And maybe they’ll learn there are hard limits, and maybe they’ll learn to work within them. You have to own your room.
In any case, I mostly wanted to say good show. Awesome.
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