#honestly#on my first watch through this#i was like ‘shit river is being more bloodthirsty and violent than usual’#but then of course this is just after manhattan#and moffat always said amy and rory and the doctor were the people who kept river honest#and helped her reign in that incredibly dangerous part of her#she cared for no one but them and that in itself was enough for river#but now it’s christmas and it’s just after manhattan and her parents are goddamn DEAD#and the doctor is gone#it’s no actual wonder why river was willing to kill a man (a bad man) for a diamond and sell it to the highest bidder#what the fuck did she care when everyone she loved left her#and her moral compass was veered far off north#somewhere in those 24 years river softened a little bit more and lost that sharp dangerous edge#never herself but just that disregard for collateral damage#somewhere in those 24 years she and the doctor taught themselves how to love again#that’s beautiful to me (via brittanias)