#and i swear to chuck #in this moment Dean’s love and appreciation for Castiel#grew beyond that into something called understanding #he could relate to cas in this moment #because Dean remembers calling for John #praying he would answer the phone #Dean remembers looking out the glass windows of a grungy motel #and telling sammy that it’s okay #because he believes in john #but then the day came#where Dean finally grew up #learned that his father was not some superhero #was just a washed out man whose heart gave out years ago #and Dean remembers that pain #and that pain is exactly what he sees now #reflected on Castiel’s face#Dean is witnessing the moment of Castiel ‘growing up’ #the moment Castiel realizes that his father is not all he thought him to be #and Dean can only watch #as his heart crumbles for the angel in front of him #because to this day he still remembers how he used to think of John #and it still fucking hurts #and it’s not something anyone can just take away
I hate everything