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merindab:

for cuddlyharkness

Alright. Buckle in kids, time for feelings. Here’s my problem.

Jack is lonely. Jack is lonely, and he tries to help people to cover it up. But it doesn’t work, because even though they say thank you, they still move on. Then he is left alone again, to find the next problem. He thinks if he fixes all their problems, if he can fix everything that’s wrong with the world that he’ll find the way to fix himself. To fix it so he doesn’t have to be alone forever. Jack wants to die. He wants to be able to die one day, because that’s his greatest fear.  Being alone. He’s afraid that one day, it’s going to be just him. The last one, the face of humanity, surrounded by a world that isn’t his anymore. And he’s terrified.

And the Doctor? The Doctor knows this about Jack and he understands. Because he’s going through the exact same thing. Jack’s greatest fear is the Doctor’s reality. And yes, these lines never happened in the show. But they should have. Because right here, this? This is a last stand. This is two people, one who is losing everything he cares about with each tick of the clock and has been for centuries. And the other, who lost everything already, and is just eking by with as much debris from his fallen world as he can, trying to be the guardian angel to a world that doesn’t know we need him.

And that is why, I will go to my grave shouting the importance of Captain Jack Harkness. He’s a foil, a lost and lonely time lord in the making. Jack chases down partners and danger without a care in the world, a way to feel a connection, to feel alive. The Doctor? He drifts through time, chasing an adrenaline rush, a way to feel a connection, to feel alive. They are immortals, caretakers with a death wish, who are just aching to try and get somewhere they haven’t been. These two recognize what they are, what the other is. The Doctor sees who he started as. Jack see who he might become. And they both hate and love each other for it. The doctor prods Jack onto the right path, even as Jack shows the Doctor lessons he’s somehow missed. And in the end? They both know they can’t die. Oh, the Doctor can die at some point, but he’ll never be dead. Why?

Because of Jack. If Jack stays on the path he’s following? He’ll be the only one left when the universe falls apart. He’ll outlive the doctor.

He’ll be the last and only Time Lord, even though Jack was never one at all. He was simply human. And we’re the ones who constructed time.

Jack’s just the poor sod who got roped into living through till the end of it. And Jack?

He’ll remember everything. Forever.

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