Titus Andronicus: “Well That Escalated Quickly”
Romeo and Juliet: “Shut Up, You’re Like 12”
Julius Caesar: “I Came Out Here to Run the Roman Empire and I Am Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now”
Hamlet: “[AGGRESSIVELY PRETENDS TO GO INSANE AND IN THE PROCESS GOES ACTUALLY INSANE MAYBE]”
Othello: “Othello: Is my wife cheating on me?? Iago: Bitch, she might be.”
King Lear: “Shows Up To Realization of Commonality with Humanity and Renouncement of Titles as Identity-Definers 15 Years Late With Starbucks”
Macbeth: “Did It For the Vine”
Antony and Cleopatra: “Much Rome. Very Egypt. Such Different. Wow.”