“From what I’ve seen, your funny little happy-go-lucky little life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on because you dare not look back. Playing with so many people’s lives, you might as well be a god. And you’re right, Doctor. You’re absolutely right. Sometimes… you let one go.”
#ahhh #you see this is my dark doctor #not eleven who is afraid of his capacity for darkness and the sucking; tidal loneliness within him that could swallow worlds #not ten whose darkness was all rage and mania—the cold-burning anger that condemned the family of blood or threatened to rip time #because he was Time Lord Victorious and it was his right #but nine #glorious nine #who is so comfortable with dealing out death that he thinks nothing of it; you cannot flinch from what you are #nine can smile and lightly talk about sparing one life; maybe two; because the dead of the time war slide off the scale and what is one more #world compared to that? #he is so steeped in horror it has become mundane for him (the first horror is the horror; the second is accepting it) #nine who emerged from the Time War the only colossus in a universe of ants #but rather than choosing to crush them beneath his heel because what is one more world? #he happens to be kind #because if you happen to be kind enough; if you choose not to step and snuff out their tiny lives enough times #maybe you can work your way back to being a good man #a fool’s errand #but a good fool #doctor who (notbecauseofvictories)