batmanisagatewaydrug:

teethandstars:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

I’ve seen many posts reminiscing about how buckwild Twilight was but somehow nobody seems to have mentioned the matching family jewelry?? that for some reason the movie’s costume designers thought it made sense that all of the kids would casually wear a family crest to school every day and nobody would say anything about it?? as if five weird antisocial adopted teenagers who skip school a lot and are all dating each other doesn’t just SCREAM cult activity??? if Charlie Swan hadn’t wanted to bang Carlisle he would have CPS on that family in a heartbeat, thanks for coming to my tedtalk 

maybe that’s their trick? maybe every time they move to a small town they all take turns strutting and casually draping themselves over furniture in front of the chief of police until they figure out which one of them s/he is most attracted to and then that cullen (usually carlisle but sometimes esme. once, memorably, jasper) is responsible for keeping cps off their backs for the next five years.  emmett calls it operation fuck the police. 

#twilight saga#chief that is definitely a cult#chief they all wear a ‘family crest’ and are dating their siblings#deputy listen up and listen good cause i’m only gonna say this once#carlisle cullen isn’t a snack#he’s a three course meal#and that family is totally normal#nothing to see there at all#except the tightest ass I’ve ever seen on a man with five teenage children

how dare you relegate this gold mine to the tags