When I was younger, I wish someone had told me straight-up that not all adults experience “a calling”. That many of them never find particular purpose in a career. That sometimes, their job is just what pays the bills and they have to seek satisfaction and fulfillment elsewhere.
Because as an adult, this pervasive notion that there exists a perfect path for everyone, that people should love what they do, and that work is meant to function as a vehicle for fulfilling a person’s grand life destiny is not only inaccurate for many of us, it can be toxic.
The ideal is so ingrained that I have to remind myself constantly I’m not a failure because I don’t adore my job, and because I’m not rocking the world with my work. That is okay.
Sometimes, work is just work. There isn’t always a perfect career path, magically waiting to be discovered. There might not be this THING you were born to do. Sometimes, you discover that what you really want to be when you grow up is “paid”.
PLS LISTEN TO THIS, YOUNG PEOPLE. It’s important to have something that’s fulfilling, but that doesn’t have be your job. It can be tending a garden or writing on the weekends or knitting or whatever! It could be solving math problems for fun, trying new recipes, you get my point.
And your job does not define you. What you do right out of college does not define you, and what you do IN college does not define you either. You can get a job doing wtv, and just quit if you hate it. (I realize that quitting is often more complicated when you pay your own way, but the point is, you are not signing a lifetime contract.) I know that your job choice immediately post graduation feels like the most LIFE DEFINING DECISION but it’s really…. Not. Just do something, maybe save some money for a while, because doing nothing is what is really gonna screw you in the end.
i did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it
i am eating an entire cake
update: there is more cake than i imagined.
i see now why my parents didn’t let me do this
never do this again
The trick to buying an entire cake and eating it is you don’t eat it all at once.
But, and this is crucial, not because someone else is controlling your portions. Because it’s your cake. Because you don’t have to worry that if you don’t finish it now, somebody will take the rest away. Because you can eat as much cake as you feel like eating and then stop, and the remaining cake will still be there when you want some more. Which may be in an hour or may be in a couple of days.
Your parents are wrong. You will never be too old for sleepovers with your besties. It is 4 am. I’m in bed right now with my bestie talking about Transformers. We were cackling a few minutes ago. We are 30 years old. Sleepovers will always be the bestest thing.
I’m 38 and I RP with my best friend, squee about Transformers with her, talk Steven Universe theories, and lots more. I also make plush dolls, and take my own plush dolls with me on trips. As my father likes to tell me: he’s never grown up, he just has to do adult things sometimes. And he’s in his 60s. It’s all relative. Do what you love to do and screw anyone who thinks that’s not being adult.
So much of what they tell you you will grow out of? It’s a choice. You get pressured out of it. Never let that happen.
The first thing I bought when I moved out and was settled? Was a nerf gun. Because I was told I was too old for toys and I’d always wanted one.
Most unhappy adults I know don’t have passions because they were told they got too old and it was unrealistic.
Literally DON’T LET YOUR DREAMS STAY DREAMS
My parents told me I was too old for toys, for kids shows, etc. But you can have those interests and be an adult. It’s okay to to be child-like. Hell, who makes children’s media?
Adults do.
So have your sleepovers, wear your cute pjs, chat with your bestie, have marathon movie nights, write fanfiction, draw fanart, play video games, enjoy things. You got one life. Live it the way you want and live it well.
Are you offering to do taxes because I’m not great at it.. I usually throw $30 at TurboTax and let em handle my lightweight.
Bruh, I pay Jackson Hewitt like 200+ to do my taxes .
WTF. Girl you better hop on TurboTax and stop throwing your money away 😳
I just don’t wanna do my own lol laZy slut 😩😭
Fuck around, do something wrong and be missing a rack .
Shiiitttttt…. I’ve been doing my own taxes online with TaxSlayer for years now. I think they usually charge $14.99 to process the federal, state is free and your bank charges $29.99 automatically to process and deposit electronic tax returns. That’s it. I always get my refund back a few days before Valentine’s Day if I file around the 1st. I will never let anyone process my taxes again for $200+. Fuck that…..
I get my taxes done by an old white lady who always has Fox News on the tv in her office, but she always got a big ass bowl of candy with chocolate that I can eat and she only charge me 60 bucks and I always get some money back.
Ive used Turbotax for the past decade. This was one of my little hustles doing taxes via Turbotax in college. It was a great money maker lol.
Lmao y’all really talking about taxes…
But what are you guys contributing to your 401k? Is 10% too low? We don’t pay income tax in TX so should I put in more?? I do have a separate savings account but I’m so scared about being poor when I’m old and retired.
I have 401k’s from previous jobs but I currently have a 403b. We are young so you’ll see people advising that we should be investing more. But that’s an issue. In 2008 when the market crashed, people lost everything in their 401k/403b. I lost 60% of mine (which had me sick) and I’ll tell you why. The further away your estimated retirement date the riskier the investments they’ll offer for your plan. There’s the chance of higher returns but then there’s a chance of higher loss. IRA’s (Traditional and Roth) are a great way to add some safety and diversify to your portfolio, lol. People tend not to do them until closer to retirement age but they are great for every age. Under 50yrs old you can contribute up to $5000 a year, over 50 you can contribute $6500 a year. They’re interest gaining accounts and there are tax breaks if you make under a certain amount annually. FDIC insures these types of accts. So your covered up to $250,000 (there are ways to up your FDIC coverage but that would be for another post). Tricky thing with IRA’s is you can have a million spread across different financial institutions but you can only contribute the amounts above. If you exceed the max contributions for the year, there is an IRS penalty. You can start one with as little as $500 and gradually increase to meet that max as your career/pay increase over years. At 59.5yrs you can start receiving payments, which is considered taxable income.
With all of that said, lol, I personally do 6% (my employer matches) and then $5000 for IRA.
@grownfolktumblr hello, young one here. I have always wondered why it is expected to invest in these retirement programs and not just open up a bank account and continually transfer money in there? @dynastylnoire@onlyblackgirl @sosaydeb
Also, can we talk about buying a house versus paying rent for the rest of your life. How yall feel?
Really, buying a house is one of those things that sounds great in theory but only actually is great if you’ve got like 5 stacks in savings for when you need a new roof, hot water tank, a random major appliance dies, or something happens to your sewage line. Plus, county assessments and all kinds of taxes. Closing costs, etc.
You also typically need to have spotless credit.
A lot of black folks got burned when the housing market tanked because of mortgages that were written to bury them in debt. And while the sub prime mortgage Scandal was exposed I really don’t trust banks at all after that.
Plus, I’m not balling. So I rent.
Ok but what are y’all thoughts about buying land and building a house? My grandfather did it (and literally our entire family has needed/benefitted from that house at some point).. Ive recently been debating with my partner about rent-to-own condos vs saving to build a house in the future..??
My mom and dad did the same, and the house is now paid off. But that was in the 80s.
Reblogging for Hgtv tumblrs thoughts about building on land now
For retirement, starting out (in 20s) it’s recommended to contribute 10%. If you live in a place with no income tax, are able to live comfortably, and feel like contributing more by all means do so. However BEAWARE. Most agents will tie your contributions to mutual funds that are more beneficial to THEM then they are to you. When setting it up (or if you already have one) ask to see the book of available mutual funds. It’ll give history of every mutual fund and how it’s doing how it’s done for past 2 or 3 years and I think even a projected yearly prediction of how it will do. Obviously, you’ll want to invest your money in the ones that will do YOU the best.
It’s better to use a 401k (If ROTH is available that’s even better) than just transferring to bank because in a bank your money only collects interest. In a 401k, you’re investing money to gain more money than you’re actually putting in there. It’s more beneficial and you’ll end up with more money than if you just kept contributing to a bank.
It depends on your life stage for buying/renting a house. For example, if I have a family of 5 and my rent is 4000 a month thats 480,000 in 10 years. On the other hand, if I buy a house that’s 480,000 and my mortgage ends up being 2000$ a month, in 20 years I’ll own the house (-and won’t have another 10 years of paying 480,000). There’s different mortgage plans of course and this is a very simplified version of renting vs buying. There’s pros and cons to both, and just have to find what works best for the stage of life you’re in, what your economic/financial abilities are and how much you feel you’re going to stay in one place.
My sister and her husband live in Texas and bought 6 acres of land. They built the house built fences for their horses moved in and I’d say they couldn’t be happier. They don’t have any financial issues either. My sisters husbands dad has built a few properties in Texas and has sold them. Has made a good profit as well. @1monielove9 @dynastylnoire
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE FREE FILE let me count the ways omg. I filed yesterday for 2015 and the IRS doesn’t even start PROCESSING THEM until tomorrow. I already know my refund and when I’ll get it. Never again the April deadline for me.
I love grown folks tumblr.
Aww, How To Adult 101.
I’ve always been so glad that my husband is into all this stuff: I’ve always just floated along. Now we’re in our 40s and got a retirement stash and are about 50% to owning our house and life is pretty sweet. And then early last year divorce reared its ugly head. We’ve worked it out, for the time being, but it was a wake-up call for someone who’s NEVER filed taxes. Not only that, people our age die, they actually do, and not just in car accidents. So now we go over all this stuff together. Because it’s stupid to let one part of a couple handle everything.
this is such an important point. it’s so wonderful to have a partner to go through life with and share these responsibilities, but even if you don’t pay the bills/do the taxes/pack the kid’s lunches/schedule doctor’s appointments/handle the car maintenance/whatever, you should definitely learn how. the first time my ex took our daughter to school after he moved out i asked him what he gave her for breakfast and he said “oh i was supposed to give her breakfast?” he wasn’t being willfully ignorant (i don’t think) he just legit didn’t know what to do.
this is so legit, and it makes me realize i need to teach the husband how to do our taxes should the need ever arise. i’ve been doing ours since before we got married, back when we were both filing separately, and it’s super-easy because we don’t have any investments (other than husband’s 401k) or anything like that, but still.
also re: housing – you need to think about where you wanna live and if you ever wanna move. that’s my biggest issue with the idea of owning a house vs renting (actually it’s my second-biggest; my biggest is that i’ve lived in apartments my whole life and i have no idea how to do any sort of home maintenance) – owning a house is fucking permanent. or, at least, way more permanent than a 1-year lease. it’s a lot more work to sell a house than it is to give your landlord a few months’ notice. so if you’re in a place you think you’re gonna want to stay forever, then i guess getting a house makes sense, but damn, i want options.
I really want to be stylish in 2016 but in a way that involves minimal outlay of money or energy (like ironing, heels, etc). I have no idea how to accomplish this.
We have no replies so i get to reblog this like a weirdo but i have discovered the secret to this. Its wear plainer clothes, layered, with one to two pieces of noticable jewellery. Tbh this seems to con people into thinking that my unwashed face and exploding hair are part of a Look and that If I Put Big Earrings On This Morning, I Must Have A Plan.
Oh NICE. I like it!
if you don’t know how to mix colors (split complimentary is great tho for outfits), stick with black, brown, and grey.
brown and red looks great. brown is about the only color to mix with a bright yellow, otherwise you look like a bee or worse.
grey and orange, pink, or green.
grey and blue is really sober. grey and dull greens is also really sober, but a little more martial and a little less civil service.
black and most colors, excepting orange and yellow (you’ll look like a bee or like halloween).
black and pink is very feminine and very threatening, so wear that if you want to intimidate. black and green drab has about the same emotional effect for a masculine message.
do not balance black equally with colors. wear mostly black, and one color. especially red. equal parts black and red make you look like a ladybug.
blue is generally neutral but make sure to wear shades and hues that are significantly different from one another— the rules for harmonizing similar blues are really fucking arcane to put into words, but if you fuck it up, to some of us, you are like a walking static blot, it’s just horrible. same goes for tweed fabric.
‘clashing’ colors operate on kind of the same principal. if the hue (what color), shade (how dark), or saturation (how intense) of your colors are too close, and you’ve balanced the colors equally, you clash. the colors are fighting each other for a viewer’s attention— think of the spiral of the golden mean, actually.
half your body is one color. a quarter of your body is the next color. an eighth of your body is the next.
anyway if this is too complicated, and you don’t want to deal with any of it, wear black and gray with bright jewelry or makeup. looks great on anyone.
all of the above: as usual Roach hits it out of the park, LISTEN TO THE ARTIST ABOUT COLORS.
and tweeds: either tweed and not-tweed, or (rarely, unless you’re Karl Lagerfeld and nobody can tell you to stop doing it) tweed and significantly-different tweed, NOT tweed and similar tweed. And I love Wanda Maximoff a great deal but I think pink and red together are regrettable even in her case.
I think it’s Coco Chanel who is supposed to have said that after you get ready to go out, you should take off one thing–a necklace, a pair of earrings, a belt, a scarf, etc–and while it’s not always applicable I’ve found it useful more than once.
Finally, makeup: do big eyes or noticeable lips, not both unless you’re really feeling the 80s, and for god’s sake go easy on the blush. Simple eye makeup with a bright lip is the good kind of noticeable; intense eye makeup needs a pretty neutral non-attention-grabbing lip color unless you want people to be like “wow, that person is wearing a ton of makeup”–which, of course, you might be. Really well-done winged eyeliner without bright or intense eyeshadow goes extremely nicely with clear red lips. And try a bunch of shades of red, if possible, before you buy. A red that looks amazing on one person is going to make someone else look ill, no matter what the ads suggest. Once you know what kind of colors work with your skin tone and the clothes you wear, you can spare yourself a lot of “wow, this looks way better in the tube” angst.
you will in fact continue to have acne past the age of twenty
you will eventually hit a point where you start to feel icky inside if you go too long without eating some sort of vegetables
depending on your current level of athleticism/physical activity as well as the kind of activities you did as a kid/teenager, your joints may start acting whack in your twenties, despite what everyone says about that not happening until middle age
eventually you will reach a point where you wonder how you were able to stay up until 3am nearly every night and be perfectly fine the next day (and this moment will come much younger than you expect)
it is much harder to meet new people after you’re done with school than sitcoms would have you believe
don’t let society tell you shit: it is perfectly acceptable to live with your parents after you graduate, there’s no need to be broke and miserable just so you can have some misguided attempt at independence straight out of school
