been watching livestreams of US news channels lately and
1) they have a LOT of commercial breaks
2) i didn’t realize that ads for medicine were actually like this
ppl keep reblogging this and asking “well what are the medicine ads like in your country” and like…there aren’t any? It’s literally illegal to advertise prescription medicine here?
All of America: God I wish that were me
So who’s gonna tell the Not America part of the world about our legal ads for class action lawsuits against drug companies.
*deep breath* the whAT NOW?
Yep. The ads run on tv like
“Hi. This is Rathford and Tyson law firm. We’re representing a class action lawsuit on behalf of people who were prescribed sybelifex for their asthma. It turns out that sybelifex can cause spontaneous bleeding from every orifice and also super cancer. If you or a loved one has been affected by sybelifex, please contact us at xxx-xxx-xxxx or go to our website at sybelifexmurderedmydog.com.”
Those are totally normal here.
If you or a loved one has been affected by Mesothelioma, you may be entitled to compensation. CALL NOW to see if you qualify!
Oh my god I heard it in the commercial’s voice.
okay, listen for a sec. We all know the “”“"American”“”“” Harry Potter universe houses are trash for many, many reasons. One of the reasons is that America is too big to have just one wizarding school where there are only 4 houses, right? so I propose that we in MA instead start sorting ourselves into these exclusive New England houses I made up as I wrote this post:
-Dunked Donut (those who are loyal to their ideals, strong-willed and hardworking but susceptible to black-and-white thinking)
-Duck Boat (those with a hunger for life experience, sharp and analytical but also impulsive and desperate for thrills)
-Lobster (those who are blue-blood types with a taste for power and the intelligence to lead effectively but tend to be overzealous and can’t appreciate the subtleties of teamwork)
-Murphy, they’re literally just the Dropkick Murphys we made a whole house for them and none of them even attend the school it’s just in case one of them shows up one day
Florida Houses:
-Sunburn
-Gator
-Pub sub
-Gun
California Houses:
-In n Out
-Chili Peppers
-Redwood
-Drought
Tennessee Houses:
-Mountain Dewds
-Cowboys without Horses
-Drunken Housewifes
-Dead Deer Collectors
Oregon Houses:
– Sasquatch
– Dysentary
– Hippies
– Hipsters
Missouri Houses:
-Tornados
-Corn
-Suburban Deer
-Mosquitos
New York Houses:
-Bacon, egg, and cheese
-Road Rage
-Constant Yelling
-Pizza
Nevada Houses:
-Air Conditioning
-Stripper Glitter
-Chlorine Hair
-Indie Band
wisconsin houses:
– cheddar
– gouda
– mozzarella
– the green bay packers
Ohio houses:
– corn corn rotate soy
– Hell Is Real
– industrial river pollution
– buckeyes
Texas houses:
– piney woods
– black gold
– cow manure
– big hair
– Keep Austin Weird
(We need five, because everything’s bigger in Texas)
Illinois houses:
– Cubs
– Sox
– Bears
– Blackhawks
nah fam Illinois houses are
– The City
– South of I-80
that’s it, that’s all, we only have two houses
North Carolina:
– cookout
-Eastern barbecue
– Lexington BarbecueWashington has Two schools, one for each half the state aside the native school
WetSide School:
-Starbucks
-RainDrySide:
-Flannel
-WildfireThey’re technically one school but WetSide gets all the funding
Colorado:
-Weed
-Hiking
That’s it those are the only houses
Haha wait what if it was more like the actual boarding school house system used in real life? the New England school would be divided up like
Mainepain
New Hampster
Masshole
Connecticunt
Vermonster
with everyone from Rhode Island having to live in a shed out the back
Oklahoma Houses:
Traffic Barrels
Parking Lot Grackle
Blue Whale
GUTS
Capital District New York Houses:
Jimmy’s Lunch: Nothing can kill you, trash princess. DADA experts. Day drinkers. Either your best friend or a large squishy projectile to hurl at your worst enemy.
Honest Weight: Hippies and SJWs. Keep sharing witchcraft with the NoMajs, which is great for Herbology profits. Raging fight between the PETA crowd and the Care of Magical Creatures geeks.
677 Prime: Power and people who think they can tell the difference between $15 dollar wine and $50 dollar wine. Good at flashy charms and transfigurations.
Whistling Kettle: Nerds with a good sense of smell. Great at potions, if only they’d study – they’re too busy doing their “passion projects.” Tend to be good on a broom.
Actually the more I think about it, the more I completely disagree with the Cap Dist houses.
Stuyvesant – The *really* old families all belong here. As often as not, they’ve got name recognition but their wealth is failing. Social, charming, ambitious.
Stewart – Second youngest official house. The grand catch-all. Solid, dependable, kind with just enough fun.
Henry – Tinkerers & intellectuals. Named for Joseph Henry, former Albany Academy professor & secret wizard. Has become more codified and less daring over time, but still focused on intellectual pursuits.
Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk – Youngest official house. Named for the Mohican name for the Hudson River. Strong focus on combating the erasure of Native contributions to magic.
Egg – Unofficial house. Rebellious mix of the other houses that comprises of a whole lot of “who says we can’t?” attitude. Interested as much in modern muggle science as magic. Named for “The Egg,” they take pride in the fact that what failed elsewhere just might work here.
The Egg
Exciting and old, The Egg
You’ll do what you’re told the Egg
The Egg
No corners for you
let’s be honest though, millennial hate is totally a thing rich folks started because they’re pissed that we have really unpredictable consumer habits and it isn’t as easy to get us to buy into stuff, so they’re mad we aren’t just money giving/traditional economy supporting machines like they expected us to be
like look at how much millennial hate articles are things like “millennials aren’t eating cereal and it’s hurting the cereal industry” or “millennials aren’t buying houses and that’s bad” or “millennials #1 utmost priority isn’t trying to make as much money as possible” and rich folks are mad about it, so just posturing our unpredictability/nontraditional values as “laziness” gets everyone else on board the hate train in some weird attempt to collectively subdue us
“You are Doing Capitalism Wrong and it scares me” – bitter Boomers to Millennials who are not buying into their shit (or buying their shit)
Keep in mind that the subprime mortgage crisis was at a pretty pivotal time in Millenial’s lives, and taught them that financial institutions are not on your side, will lie to you, and specifically will lie to you about what you can afford.
Like, this isn’t coming from nowhere.
I mean boomers refuse to pay a living wage to anyone and then wonder why those people don’t buy anything? I am sorry but what exactly is the disconnect here?
Millennials value work that has meaning above work that pays well and they hate that as well. It means we can’t be shut up with busy work while they’re made to seem like they’re running a well oiled machine. They come from a generation of a boss being someone who says “do what I say because I told you to” and we come from a generation who values a boss that says “what can I do for you that will help you excel at your job?”
Millennials do not cope well with meaningless busy work so their boss looks better. They don’t cope with being talked down to or not being assisted by their boss when they have a problem. They do not deal well with their innovative ideas being shut down because “that’s not how we do it here.” and I don’t see how any of those things is a problem.
Millennials are also the first generation since the internet was a prominent thing to utilize it as a source of information in a way that is empowering for each other. A single millennial can buy a product and then inform anyone who wants to know about the quality of said product. It only takes a handful of millennials to say “this is a substandard product” to render all the millions of dollars spent on advertising that product completely useless.
Big business has been a blotch on millennials lives since before most of you could even assume a role in adulthood to effect it, so you trust one another more than you trust advertisements or sponsorship, etc.
On the flip side, though, you enthusiastically will push and promote things that you love.
Big business and their baby boomer CEOs and presidents HATE this. Because it means that they can no longer provide a substandard product while making the consumer feel there is nothing better out there.
In the past, if every dish soap was awful, you just had to continue using awful dish soap. Now, you can crowd source an alternative. You can post in a forum, your facebook, a mass text, etc and say “I hate every dish soap, what can I do?” and you will be directed to actual good brands or you will be taught how to brew your own.
You’re a great generation, I’m really proud of you guys.
Seriously, tho.
I’d love to buy a house, but I can’t afford a down payment and can’t be certain that I’ll have the same income levels for thirty years and I don’t actually know whether the banks will accept my highly-fluctuating, self-employed-and-seasonal-labor income as stable enough or high enough to be approved for a mortgage.
And also every new housing development I’ve seen in the past five years has been “Executive Housing, Starting At 390K” and the realtor websites are full of last decade’s foreclosed subdivision homes in the $275K region, and there’s legit no one, including the zoning board, that’s going to help me find or make a cute little house on a tenth of an acre in the region of $50-60K, let alone every other millennial who might like to settle down in a place that suits her desires and means.
Oh, and that same zoning means five people aren’t allowed to share that $300K, 5-bedroom McMansion, because fuck us, that’s why.
And what else? The refrigerator that recently conked out on me was manufactured in 1967. That thing lasted almost fifty years, and today if I walk into a big box store’s appliance department to buy a new refrigerator they will tell me I should really buy a warranty to cover the apparently-substantial risk that it will break within two to five years.
Oh, and there’s apparently a $400ish premium to buy one with a convenient configuration because if you want the refrigerator on top and accessible without bending down for anyone taller than your average first grader there aren’t any of those in the entry-level price range. Once again, fuck us.
Then there’s the labor market itself, where “entry level” positions want three-to-five years of experience, and everybody won’t shut up about the trades but even that requires a $5K+ outlay to go to school for it, and every fast-food restaurant out there has a permanent “Now Hiring” sign up because they drive employees away as fast as they can replace them.
And so many food-service jobs involve being forced to throw away loads of food as it expires but if you eat it or take it home it’s viewed as stealing, and retail jobs sometimes require you to smash perfectly good computers with a sledgehammer so nobody can use them, and fuck all of this, yes, I’m gonna make my own goddamn laundry detergent from a recipe I found on the internet, and I’m gonna buy as much of my vegetables as possible in seed form, and I’m gonna fucking read the consumer reviews on shit before I buy it and I’m going to source a refrigerator from Cragislist for approximately the price of the warranty on a new one, and if The Market wants me to buy a house, it can bloody well wait for me to have the money.
Because seriously, with its “Ask not what your economy can do for you, ask what you can do for your economy” mindset and historic, far-reaching fuckery, the business side of the equation has little room to complain about millennials being the selfish ones.
Why doesn’t American History teach more about the fact that we literally put people of Japanese descent into concentration camps during world war 2
Because American History (at least in k-12) is more about indoctrinating the idea that America has been and always will be Great and that anything bad was only temporary and we’re over that now, and look how Special and Enlightened we are.