patroklov:

jkr doesnt understand anything about america if she thinks the northern and southern states will share the same wizarding school lollll. like the south would have formed its own school anyways after, if not before or during the civil war?

hell east coast and west coast magic has got to be different (european settlers on the east, mexican/hispanic in the whole new mexico, arizona, cali area). 

not to mention historically black wizarding schools would have absolutely been a thing bc african magic survived thru slavery hello??? not to mention under slavery and jim crow laws i highly doubt black children would have been allowed to study with white students. you could even make the assumption that white slavers forbade them for using their magic at all (african magic = dark magic and all that Fun Racism)

underdeveloped and struggling to thrive native american reservation schools of magic in the dakotas? 

texas has to have its own school on its own school. like its just a given fact. TEXAS WIZARDING SCHOOL QUDDITCH (like texas high school football #texasforever)

and obviously you have the elitist new england schools which everyone assumes is the pinnacle of american magic education lol

#the Texas school would be really aggressive about teaching the unforgivable curses #the ministry of America exists within the pentagon because some founding father decided magic was too much power to go unchecked #there’s a history of indigenous tribal and ancestral magic being taught without books inside people’s homes #because of the assimilation schools #because magical colonization is a thing #Newer Magic Schools with organic robes #all-natural bezoars #GMO-free wolfsbane #around the 1900s a group of purist European wizards take to magically bleaching everything they own and wear #this ‘white purity’ group actively funds assimilation magic schools and condemn and hex the students being assimilated #these white purists inspire a muggle counterpart whose members wear white robes #at some point someone loses track of wizard offspring and children begin to sort it out for themselves by meeting with others #the internet makes this easier as long as you don’t use magic near your device #cults form and disband #wizard schools are also incredibly expensive and many wizard parents push their pre-adolescent children to apply to European schools #more often people who are not white will send their children to an ancestral school or instructor to learn their heritage #often families will leave America to achieve this specific magical education #it’s generally understood by everyone not in America that the spell work is weak and to wrapped up in politics to teach much #Texas gets a lot of flak for The Right To Curse (re: second amendment) #anyway(via @dustafterreign)

callmebliss:

belovedbright:

beautytruthandstrangeness:

naamahdarling:

elodieunderglass:

fuckyeahdiomedes:

mehofkirkwall:

ryannahwood:

fuck-me-barnes:

pringlesaremydivision:

i-will-not-be-caged:

misa-nthropy:

threefootroo:

this-simple-mind:

bloodyfrank:

supervillainesses:

loracarol:

petergatsbygreen:

wittyandcharming:

lufthexe:

deluxetoaster:

okay, listen for a sec. We all know the “”“"American”“”“” Harry Potter universe houses are trash for many, many reasons. One of the reasons is that America is too big to have just one wizarding school where there are only 4 houses, right? so I propose that we in MA instead start sorting ourselves into these exclusive New England houses I made up as I wrote this post:

-Dunked Donut (those who are loyal to their ideals, strong-willed and hardworking but susceptible to black-and-white thinking)

-Duck Boat (those with a hunger for life experience, sharp and analytical but also impulsive and desperate for thrills)

-Lobster (those who are blue-blood types with a taste for power and the intelligence to lead effectively but tend to be overzealous and can’t appreciate the subtleties of teamwork)

-Murphy, they’re literally just the Dropkick Murphys we made a whole house for them and none of them even attend the school it’s just in case one of them shows up one day

Florida Houses:

-Sunburn

-Gator

-Pub sub

-Gun

California Houses:

-In n Out

-Chili Peppers

-Redwood

-Drought 

Tennessee Houses:

-Mountain Dewds

-Cowboys without Horses

-Drunken Housewifes

-Dead Deer Collectors

Oregon Houses:

– Sasquatch

– Dysentary

– Hippies

– Hipsters

Missouri Houses:

-Tornados

-Corn

-Suburban Deer

-Mosquitos

New York Houses:

-Bacon, egg, and cheese

-Road Rage

-Constant Yelling

-Pizza

Nevada Houses:

-Air Conditioning

-Stripper Glitter

-Chlorine Hair

-Indie Band

wisconsin houses:

– cheddar

– gouda

– mozzarella

– the green bay packers

Ohio houses:

– corn corn rotate soy

– Hell Is Real

– industrial river pollution

– buckeyes

Texas houses:

– piney woods

– black gold

– cow manure

– big hair

– Keep Austin Weird

(We need five, because everything’s bigger in Texas)

Illinois houses:

– Cubs

– Sox

– Bears

– Blackhawks

nah fam Illinois houses are 

– The City

– South of I-80

that’s it, that’s all, we only have two houses

North Carolina:
– cookout
-Eastern barbecue
– Lexington Barbecue

Washington has Two schools, one for each half the state aside the native school

WetSide School:

-Starbucks
-Rain

DrySide:

-Flannel
-Wildfire

They’re technically one school but WetSide gets all the funding

Colorado:

-Weed

-Hiking

That’s it those are the only houses

Haha wait what if it was more like the actual boarding school house system used in real life? the New England school would be divided up like

Mainepain

New Hampster

Masshole

Connecticunt

Vermonster

with everyone from Rhode Island having to live in a shed out the back

Oklahoma Houses:

Traffic Barrels

Parking Lot Grackle

Blue Whale

GUTS

Capital District New York Houses:

Jimmy’s Lunch: Nothing can kill you, trash princess. DADA experts. Day drinkers. Either your best friend or a large squishy projectile to hurl at your worst enemy.

Honest Weight: Hippies and SJWs. Keep sharing witchcraft with the NoMajs, which is great for Herbology profits. Raging fight between the PETA crowd and the Care of Magical Creatures geeks. 

677 Prime: Power and people who think they can tell the difference between $15 dollar wine and $50 dollar wine. Good at flashy charms and transfigurations. 

Whistling Kettle: Nerds with a good sense of smell. Great at potions, if only they’d study – they’re too busy doing their “passion projects.” Tend to be good on a broom. 

Actually the more I think about it, the more I completely disagree with the Cap Dist houses.  

Stuyvesant – The *really* old families all belong here.  As often as not, they’ve got name recognition but their wealth is failing.  Social, charming, ambitious. 

Stewart – Second youngest official house.  The grand catch-all.  Solid, dependable, kind with just enough fun.  

Henry – Tinkerers & intellectuals.  Named for Joseph Henry, former Albany Academy professor & secret wizard.  Has become more codified and less daring over time, but still focused on intellectual pursuits. 

Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk – Youngest official house.  Named for the Mohican name for the Hudson River.  Strong focus on combating the erasure of Native contributions to magic.  

Egg – Unofficial house.  Rebellious mix of the other houses that comprises of a whole lot of “who says we can’t?” attitude.  Interested as much in modern muggle science as magic.  Named for “The Egg,” they take pride in the fact that what failed elsewhere just might work here.  

The Egg

Exciting and old, The Egg

You’ll do what you’re told the Egg

The Egg

No corners for you