I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I’d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it’s at.
– I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
– vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
– my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
– it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
– hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
– hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
– variations of the above
– I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
– all our friends are drunk
– it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
– we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
– humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
– we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
– GROUP PROJECT
#both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be#waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late#you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole#we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window#you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking (little-smartass)
– Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
– This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
– I found your USB drive still in the computer
– I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
– You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
– We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
– We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
– You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
– Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
– You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
– You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
– What are you doing at this table at the career fair
– Waiting for office hours
– I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
– Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
– You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
– We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
– You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
-my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
-we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
– Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
– Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
-Your school mailbox is right next to mine
-I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
-My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
-You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
-My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
-we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
– You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
-What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
-its 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
-you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking
-I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking
-my shower isn’t working can I use yours
-RA mandated floor party
-I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab
-dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room
-hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just gonna disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise
-THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED
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