I bet in the early days of the Justice League, when the original seven were still trying to work as a team, before any of the sidekicks came, before the Justice League became a giant extended family, the other members would occasionally forget that Batman was a father to a tiny, energetic little boy until they were forcibly reminded.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to move the budget meeting this Saturday. Yes, I’m afraid something more important has come up. Dick is asking to go back to the Natural History museum for the 6th time this month. He likes the wooly mammoths, they remind him of elephants.”
“Yes I understand, Luthor’s plans need to be… Wait, can you hold on a second Clark?… Dick, I swear to God if you jump off that banister you may survive the fall but you will not survive me, do you understand? Yes, I thought so… Sorry, you were saying Superman?”
"Flash, act natural, pretend we are in a serious discussion and I am asking for your signature for very important League business and not because Dick has been begging for your autograph since he heard about you joining the team. Dammit Allen do not smile like that this is serious.“
“Get your mind out of the gutter Jordan, there’s a thunderstorm in Gotham and Dick’s stuffed animal was frightened of the lightening. Why else would he be in my bed at 4 in morning? More importantly, why are you calling at this hour causing my rightful cranky son to answer the phone?”
“You’re a magnificent warrior Wonder Woman but motherly you are not. You need to hold them properly, like this, to soothe their fears. Dick likes to be held after a nightmare, you just stroke their head, assure them that everything will be fine, perhaps rock them gently… genTLY DIANA.”
“Aquaman, do you have a moment? Dick’s been feeling a bit lonely at the manor, I’d like to get him a pet but with our busy schedules it needs to be something manageable. How the hell did you did ‘Tiger Shark’ out of ‘Manageable’? I just want a damn goldfish.“
“I don’t take your meaning Cyborg I am very clearly doing work here. Yes, that monitor in the corner is always running, it’s just security footage from the house. Yes, I check in to make sure Dick is still safe in bed and he hasn’t been kidnapped or started climbing the chimney again. No, I am not being overprotective, just wait until you have children Victor then talk to me.”
madnizilla LOOK
I AM SCREAMING THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST POSTS I’VE EVER SEEN
*aquaman telling Bruce that fish are very hard to care for animals, bowls are 10000% unacceptable, and not at all manageable for a small child. get him a dog for crap’s sake*
“Allen, I seem to have lost my son, who is small but incredibly fast. I cannot seem to outrun him. If you could go fetch, that would be much appreciated. Yes, I will purchase you a ‘flashmobile’ for the help, though I have no idea why you need it?”
“No Dick, that is not a clown, that is a man trying to kill me, please get off of his head. Joker no, he is not half-bat. It is the middle of the goddamn night, just give me back my son and we can go at it tomorrow. Dick, sticking your fingers in your kidnappers eyes is acceptable behavior this time only, you cannot try such with the Justice League. Flash has complained much. Now go to bed”
“Why would a giant monster popping out of the ocean surprise me, Diana? No, I have a son at home, there are literally no surprises left. If Dick find a way to use peanut butter to stick toy soldiers to the manor ceiling 20ft in the air, then an alien race can find a way to get on earth via fault lines”
“If the words ‘build me a giant robot’ come out of your mouth one more time, young man, Cyborg and I both are going to find a way to shut you up”
“Bruce, for the love of god why did you bring him with you to the meeting?”
“Alfred is ill and do not even ask for the endless list of reasons no nanny will set foot in my house. Explosives may have been involved. Agencies have us flagged. Can we just get back to saving the world, please?”“That mysterious weapon we got from the last mission? It’s in a secure storage facility outside of Gotham. Of COURSE it isn’t in the batcave, that’s attached to my house. What kind of parent do you think I am??”
“N-no that tracking chip is DEFINITELY not for Dick…. that ha, that would be…. that would be a tiny bit overprotective, wouldn’t it? no, no of course not….. shut up, Victor. Just give me the damn chip”
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