eversolewd:

yumantimatter:

mistbornthefinal:

speakertoyesterday:

identicaltomyself:

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined:

another-normal-anomaly:

regexkind:

argumate:

invertedporcupine:

koito-yuu:

yumantimatter:

jaiwithinnumerableunblinkingeyes:

tommyeatseaton:

sufficientlylargen:

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

roxilalonde:

if movies about men got reviewed the same way movies about women did

“Look. Don’t get me wrong: no one is happier than me to see a man finally starring in a lead role in an action movie (especially when they look as tantalizing in a tank top as Mr. Willis.) but at the end of the day, the hard truth about Die Hard is this: it’s mediocre. The script is bland, the pacing is excruciating, and although it has a few decent lines, it’s trying way, way too hard to be funny and only succeeding half the time. The focus on “male empowerment” is way too overt and comes across as ham-fisted, like the movie is trying to beat the audience over the head with “SEE? MEN CAN LEAD ACTION MOVIES, TOO!” without seeming to have anything more nuanced to say about the matter. Ultimately, Bruce Willis climbing around a building and beating up terrorists for two hours isn’t quite interesting enough to hold this reviewer’s attention. If you can shut off your brain and pretend not to notice the glaringly obvious plot holes riddled through this corporate-engineered script, then Die Hard may be the film for you. If not, however, you’ll probably be better off rewatching Ocean’s 8 instead.”

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER 2 ANNOUNCED

drgrlfriend:

slatestarscratchpad:

slatestarscratchpad:

bowtochris:

dongstomper:

THE ALBATROSS IS BACK………. AND HES FUCKING PISSED

<3 RotAM

The sky turned black, the sea turned black
The moon was lost in mist
The goddamn albatross was back
And he was fucking pissed.

“I asked ‘How are you hale and well?
And from the sky descending?”
Said it: ‘I am a shade from Hell
And come in search of vengeance.’

And then it raised a ghostly wing
The sky was lost in shadow
And from the sea, all glistening
Rose a goddamn sharknado.”

The Wedding-Guest, he rolled his eyes
So strange a tale to hear
But still spoke on that ancient man
The wild Mariner:

“I ran like heck across the deck
But the sharks were many and fast
I tripped and fell into the sea
And there I breathed my last.”

“Hold on now,” said the Wedding-Guest
Amidst the festive cheer
“If perished ye upon that sea
How came you to be here?

How came you to be here with me?
O, answer that, I ask!”
The Mariner removed his face
As if it were a mask

Inside there was an Albatross
It gave an awful shriek
It slammed into the Wedding-Guest
And slew him with its beak.

Farewell, farewell, but this I tell
I tell it to thee plain
Do not fuck with an albatross
Those fuckers are insane.

It got even better!