Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.
(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)
Merry: call me a Took one more time
Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took
Merry: I will END you
Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled
Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.
Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that
Frodo: I said what I said.
Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile
Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly
Frodo: quite.
Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.
Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.
Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square
Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile
Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…
Merry: ABSOLUTE not
Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you
Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins
Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…
Gimli: What about your uncle. Is he round or square.
Frodo: Please tell me you’re kidding my uncle is the most Tookish Baggins to ever live and that includes physically
Bilbo ‘looked… exactly like a second edition of his solid and comfortable father’. He’s a round Baggins imo
Frodo: But then SOMEBODY *glare* nudged him out the door.So now he’s a Took.
If you find yourself in times of trouble, ask yourself, ‘what would Gandalf do’, and remember, ‘beat a man unconscious with a big stick’ is a valid answer
My mom isn’t into LOTR and she’s still over there snort-laughing at this.
truly one of the funniest things about lotr to me is how much hostility
the hobbits, a race of cheerful, fun-loving farm people, bear towards
gandalf for absolutely NO reason except that he kills their chill vibe
the hobbits of the shire whenever they hear gandalf is in town:
