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demonicsymphony:

bun-fun:

merhartwin priest au

the year is fictional, with a victorian aesthetic and none of the prude racism, and all the pervy lechery, and the technology internet-compatible

Kingsman is a quiet small town in need of a new vicar, the recent one having retired unexpectedly

Merlin is the resident doctor, Harry a duke who is far enough from the throne that he can do what he likes, and they both like to do young pretty men

enter the new pretty young man, Father Garfield “please call my Eggsy” Unwin, tight ass regrettably covered by a cassock, clerical collar underlining the mole on his neck as though making a point

harry and merlin approaching eggsy with all the intent in the world, and eggsy slipping thru their cunning little hungry fingers

then harry sits in the confessionary, says “bless me father for i will sin”, and eggsy’s like “that’s not how this works guv”,  then merlin pushes eggsy back against the wall and lifts his holy frock, and debauches the priest while harry dirty talks next door

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ i’m going to go stand in a corner, and think about my life choices

You are a filthy, filthy person and I love you for it.