it also stresses me out when vampires just bite someone and they blood ALL over the place and the vampire has their mouth on the bite for like ONE SECOND then comes away COVERED in blood and drops the person to the floor and then they go and kill like 2 MORE PEOPLE LIKE!!!!
imagine if you went out with your friend and bought a can of pepsi, shook it up real good, opened it, and just let it fuckin’ rip directly into your face for a good ten seconds with your mouth wide open, then dropped the can of whatever’s left on the floor and were like “damn….if only I didn’t need 5 cans of pepsi a day to get my fix.”
YOU!!!!!
DON’T!
Vampires are starting to piss me off
Humans can replenish a pint a month and vampires don’t care about blood type or diseases, they’re digesting it not hooking it into their own veins. They could totally find a large sample size of people who are prevented from giving blood but can still replace their own blood and just safely draw a pint from each every month. Hell they could over feed to prevent the hunger pangs being a risk. They could justify that cost to their sheep by using their awesome vampire abilities and lifetime of knowledge to help them out.
Like a vampire who invests wisely buys a large block of flats for like victims of abuse or students with no money or whatever and it’s just like. “My only rent is a pint of blood a month. I won’t do anything kinky and I will destroy anyone who messes with you.”
I want a character in a zombie apocalypse setting who is just inexplicably good at survival tasks – knows how to make a fire from scratch, cooks insanely well, can hunt, skin animals, makes cheese, butter, and such, but gradually the people in their group begin to notice they never seem to catch pop culture references or allusions to normal, everyday historical facts about the pre-apocalypse world.
And everyone has all these theories about them like, what did they do before? Why are they like this? How do they just automatically know how to sew clothing, milk a cow, and build quality shelter, but….. they don’t know who Chris Evans was. Never heard of Buzzfeed. Can’t drive a car. They’ve apparently never seen Star Wars OR Star Trek. Who the hell is this person? Why are they so weird?
And eventually it comes out: When the apocalypse happened this person took the opportunity to blend in, reinvent themselves. But in the old world?
They were Amish.
I really like fics where Eggsy and other candidates have to pass the obligational “honeypot/ seduce your mentor/ NLP training trial”.
HOWEVER, i really want to see a fic where the “honeypot/ nlp” trial that Eggsy is tasked with is switched up a bit.
What do i mean by this, you ask? Well, basically, instead of Eggsy having to seduce someone to get information, he would instead have to keep his mouth shut when Galahad, a seasoned agent, is to (attempt to) get some important piece of intel from and by way of seducing Eggsy.
PLEASE THIS I WOULD IN ALL LIKLIHOOD PAY FOR THAT PLEASE.
Imagine a villain getting injured and losing their memory and the heroes finding them and taking them with them and taking care of them and the villain gets their memory back after like a week but doesn’t want to say anything because the heroes are being so nice to them and nobody has been that nice to them in so long and they don’t want it to end and they’re maybe getting fond of the heroes but don’t tell anyone shhh. But eventually something happens and the heroes are in trouble and they’re trying to get the villain to run away because they still think they’re an amnesiac with no idea how to defend themself and they’ve grown to like them and don’t want them to get hurt but the villain just pushes past them toward whatever is trying to hurt the heroes and just fuckin goes guns blazing and destroys them
I want someone to write a book where Mermaids are the women thrown off ships when the sailors got afraid because having a woman on the boat is bad luck. And as they sink to the bottom, legs tied together, they change slowly until they can breathe, until they can use their tied up legs to swim. And they drown sailors in revenge, luring them in by singing in their husky voices still stinging from the salt water they breathed.
someone please write this