being mentally ill is just being fed up with your own shit 24/7 like oh my god are we really going to do this again can I have like one hour of peace just one fucking hour oh my god p l e a s e
I feel like neurotypical ppl tend to underestimate MI ppls level of self-awareness abt our disorders. Like, believe you me, I am well aware that my brain is a rampant shitshow. That doesn’t mean I can make it stop doing shit though.
Things I never knew about depression until I finally had a doctor explain the disease to me
Depression can manifest as irrational anger.
My complete and total inability to keep anything clean or tidy for any amount of time is a symptom of my depression. I may never be able to do this. It’s important that I remember that and forgive myself when I clean something out (like my car) and it ends up trashed within a week.
Depression IS A DISABILITY. Requiring accommodations is okay.
Medications don’t make you better, they don’t cure your depression. They serve as an aid. Their purpose is to help you get to everyone else’s minimal level of functioning.
Depression can cycle through periods of inactivity. This doesn’t mean it’s gone away.
The reason I don’t feel like other people understand me is because … well … other people DON’T understand me. They can’t. They don’t have my disability.
Paranoia is par for the course.
Depression can and will interfere with your physical mobility. Forgive yourself when you can’t physically do something.
It’s entirely possible that I may never be able to live by myself. I can’t take care of myself. I need help to do it. And that’s okay.
As someone who suffers from depression and who experiences all these things as well I think this is important and needs to be reblogged.
Depression is a very difficult thing, not only for people who suffer from it, but for everyone who knows a depressed person. My family doesn’t know how to deal with it, my friends try their very best to support me and I have tried to pretend I was fine until I was in ninth grade.I didn’t know any of this either until I was actually diagnosed & my doctor broke it down for me.
This.all.is.the.truth.
i dont think ive spent more than 3 hours awake at a time for the past 3 days. I feel useless and pathetic but it helps to know that it’s part of my depression and not a personal failing.
Being lazy: Hm, I guess I’ll just hang out in the garden today. I mean, there’s work to do, but it can be done tomorrow. Chilling in the sun is better. Maybe I’ll read something.
Being depressed: I could sit in the sun. I’d have to go outside. Why is sitting in the sun even valued, it’s just sitting, but warmer. I’ll just sit here. Can I be asleep now, please? I have work to do, why am I so useless? I can’t even get up to go outside. And I can’t sleep. Why is everything so much.
Yeah, I know it’s just “in your head”. Where else would being sad be? Not everything that is in your head is just a product of your imagination and can be ignored. Depression is a brain malfunction that dampens your perception of the world to a dull, grey mass. Literally nothing can make you happy, because the option of being happy has been cancelled. Nothing can look drastic to you, because drastic implies worry and worry implies something dear to you and something dear would make you happy, but you are not happy. About nothing. Niki Minaj could come up next to you and hug you, wishing you a good day and you’d be like: “I guess I should feel something now, but… it’s kinda meh.”
Depression is an illness, so treat it like one. Get help and encourage depressed friends to get help.
Time and Mental Illness
Sometimes the hardest thing about having a mental illness is the time you can never get back. The time before you got help, the time before you realized that you had a problem. The choices you made out of fear or expectations that may or may not have come to pass.
I never applied for college when I was in high school. I was a solid C student (though everybody said I was smart. I now know it was inattentive adhd). But I barely coasted my way through high school, i was certain I’d never make it in college. And besides, this was before the Internet, I had no idea how financial aid worked. But I was certain I wouldn’t get any scholarships with my grades and my parents had explained for quite some time that when we were 18 it was military, college or paying rent, and they weren’t helping with college. So I went military. (I did finally go school, getting my associates at about 30, and now, at 37, finishing up my bachelors)
There’s been other things through the years, that looking back at it now, I realize it was my depression telling me lies. Or my inattentive adhd making me scatterbrained. My house has never been neat or clean.
What I’m mourning today is that, two years ago, pretty much when I hit rock bottom, I lost a semester and a half of college to depression Because of that lost time, those failed classes, I need to go for one more semester, so I can graduate in December this year. (That failed semester also forced me to wait a full year to get the job I have now while I got my GPA up.)
A couple days ago I got an email from financial aid that I’ve hit the max for student loans and so I’ll get no financial aid for fall.
Today that was coupled with learning I got a D in a class, which means it doesn’t count towards graduation, and instead of needing two more classes I need three.
I know I missed a couple assignments in that class and I’ve resisted looking to see that if I’d done them if that would make a difference. Of course it would have, but I can’t change it so no point putting myself through that.
So I have no idea what I’m going to do. My credit is too awful for private loans (another side effect of adhd is being bad with finances). I’m a world better off now then I was last year (for those of you who know what a bitch of a struggle last year was for me). We make enough right now to pay the bills, but not enough to save.
I’ll do what I’ve always done and figure it out. I need to knuckle down and start writing again. I may have depression, but, oddly enough, I tend to be naturally optimistic. I’m upset and worried, but I just have to have faith that, somehow, it’ll all work out. Though as of right now I’ve given up on the idea of being able to travel to Arizona to walk in my graduation. The important thing is to finish, and I only have a little farther to go, depression and lost time be damned.
Carrie Fisher explains to a little boy what ‘bipolar’ means, at Indiana Comic Con 2015.
I love her so much.
I will always reblog this because it’s the best description of bi-polar I have EVER seen.
(Especially to people who don’t understand what mania means. You aren’t HAPPY, you’re very fast.)
It was SO important to 15-year-old me to learn that PRINCESS LEIA (whose hair I have envied since age 7, btw) was bi-polar.
she is so good and i love her so much, and so so much for TALKING about everything so frankly. (without losing an ounce of her humor).
Once a princess, now a queen.
technically she’s a general
For those not working due to mental illness.
I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are
you working, or” and I either have to
- make up some lie, or
- eventually get
around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and
subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely
unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to
share with me.So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either.
You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering
from an illness.”I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked.
He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like
yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved
on.MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an
illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his
business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to
give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.To all my friends recovering from or living with an illness, brain or otherwise.