Posted on

tsunasty:

deafonyourleft:

totallytrailbreaker:

skellydun:

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript:
“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.
So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?
And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.
So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?
So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”

(Source: http://tsunasty.tumblr.com/)
Posted on

cincosechzehn:

jedi-giraffe:

gothtigger92:

liho907lilo:

Everyone going shopping on Black Friday, be aware of three things:

The retail workers are working 12 hours shifts. We are threatened with losing our jobs if we don’t show up unless we’re dying in the hospital. I had an assistant manager show up with fucking strep because he would’ve been fired otherwise. Yes, he did infect 7 and hospitalize 2 coworkers; who knows how many members of the public he infected.

The stores have, maybe, 5 of that special cheap thing you’re after. Corporate does this on purpose, and stores are not allowed to order enough. The prices aren’t even that much lower. They lie about how expensive something is to fool you into thinking you’re getting a discount. You aren’t.

Most of the workers you will come across will be new hires for the sole purpose of being bodies for about three months before they’re fired. They actually don’t know anything because they’ve been working there for maybe two weeks, and have had no real training. I was once hired at Staples a week before Black Friday and expected to know how to deal with phones, coupons, the online ordering site, and AS400 after five 6-hour shifts. This is the kind of person you will likely be dealing with at Black Friday.

Do me and my retail family a favor and don’t shop Black Friday. Any company that needs a sale day like Black Friday to get their sales out of the red doesn’t deserve to be in business. 

This also goes for anyone that works shipment too. We’re suddenly expected to stay as late as they want you to even if they know you don’t have a car and rely on a ride to get you to and from work and know you can’t stay late. Shipment workers will suddenly start getting berated for not getting things done and it is by far the most stressful time to be a shipment worker for any store. Especially when they throw in new hires that don’t know how to process things and are expected to work at the same pace as the people that have worked there for a while.

Retail is shit around the holidays, especially Black Friday

ok fellow millenials, it’s time to kill black friday

LET’S KILL BLACK FRIDAY

I once got a new full time job but had decided to keep my retail job through the holidays to make more money.

I worked 11:30pm- 6am, slept for an hour and a half, then went to work my new full time job from 8-5 because I was in training and missing would have meant being fired. I could have quit the retail job, but since I hadn’t yet, both jobs required my presence.

Posted on

dynamicsymmetry:

kaijuno:

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.

Posted on

dovewithscales:

itsavalonsmith:

today at the witchy store:

customer: is this organic?

me:

me: its a crystal

customer: yes, but is it organic?

me: … it’s a stone?

customer: i’m not stupid, I know that. I want to know if this “stone” is organic or not

me:

customer:

me: sure, why not. we didn’t put pesticides on it when we grew it.

customer: I want to talk to your manager

Retail is the same all over.

Posted on

the-privateer:

spark-of-jenius:

gluten-free-pussy:

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

Oh, I’ve got one in this vein: a lady called our company wanting us to come steam clean her tile floors, but refused to give her address, instead demanding that we do it at our location. And hung up when I tried to explain that her floors were attached to her house.

Let that sink in for a second. 

at my last job me two co workers and a manager had to explain to a guy why we couldn’t let him walk out to go to his car to get his wallet with a product that he didn’t pay for yet….we had to explain to him MULTIPLE times….he tried to get us (including the manager) fired the next day because we “didn’t have any trust”  

another time another guy tried to get everyone in the store (including the general manager) fired because no one answered his call when he called five hours before we opened that day

i also had to explain to countless people that just because one specific product like a mouse or keyboard were on sale, it doesn’t mean that ALL mouses/keyboards were on sale

Posted on

copperbadge:

akielosrises:

crazymuff1n:

writing-prompt-s:

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

Posted on

clockworkheartscaptain:

letsboldlygomotherfuckers:

rockpaperscissorsgun:

emilyelizabethfowl:

thebritishteapot:

spacecores:

youlovelucie:

artwlw:

diyozas:

adventurotica:

three-course-dessert:

runicbinary:

la-mancha-screwjob:

sugar4ndroses:

narwhalsarefalling:

starlightandcrimescenes:

gin-and-eschatonic:

agrestenoir:

commanderfraya:

icouldwritebooks:

mirab3lle:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy – ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

i live for stories like these

i work with kids, one time i came back from a long shift and ended up (successfully) telling my dad to “Stop it.” in the most commanding tone i have ever heard when he was being loud at dinner. i have never felt so mortified yet so powerful.

I’m a cinematographer and I was sharing a room with a friend while we were shooting my last film and I woke him up yelling “I just don’t understand what you want from this shot”

I work in customer service, at a maze, where we have to hand out flags,and overall it’s good for just general life, good people skill and all that jazz, apart from, when, after eight hours in the hot sun I turned around to my companion who asked me what the time was and handed him a flag, then walked off. I’ve responded to phone calls with “Do you have your map and flag.” Many times in the past.

Posted on

shatterfly:

curiousthimble:

wallywestisbae:

as black friday and the holidays slowly creep up on us 

please please please remember to be kind to cashiers and retail workers

they want to be home and out of the store just as quickly as you want to be

On this note, please avoid the following:

“Oh my god, how long have you been here?”

“If it doesn’t scan it’s free.”

“Can I have a discount?”

“I can’t believe you have to work on Thanksgiving!”

“What are your sales?” (Seriously, figure your shit out before getting out of the car.)

Talking on the phone while at the register/generally ignoring your cashier.

Complaining about the chip, whether in use or not.

We have heard it all. We are tired. Please don’t.

“I can’t believe you have to work on Thanksgiving!”

This one is particularly shitty. If they are working on Thanksgiving it’s because YOU are shopping on Thanksgiving.

Posted on

some of the best customers I’ve had at Dollar General

tsukidaisy:

  • the woman who comes in every day and buys a single can of cat food. The brand she buys has the deal that if you buy 5 cans, you get them for $2. When I told her that she said “I don’t need five at once. Terrence only needs one a day.”
  • The old man who came in and asked me “Why do you think McDonalds doesn’t sell hotdogs?” When I told him I didn’t know, he said “Well, I guess it would be hard to keep a straight face and order a McWeenie.”
  • The teenage girl whose boyfriend held her foot up as she hopped around the store to get her things. Come to find out that she had lost her flip flop and didn’t want to step on the floor with her bare foot.
  • The elderly spanish man who comes in every day to get a pack of Marlboro Lights. His english isn’t very good, so when I asked him if he wanted shorts or 100s, he looked at me confused. Realizing he didn’t understand, I said “Pequeño
    ?” His face lit up and nodded enthusiastically. Now every time he leaves, he smiles and says “Hasta mañana” and I say it back.
  • The other day when I was outside on a smoke break, he was riding on a bike and yelled ”HASTA MANANAAAAAA” as he rode by.
  • The old woman who came in and bought 24 air fresheners. I asked her if she was stocking up, and she told me about how she got a new boyfriend who lived in a mansion, and that she was putting one in each of the rooms. She then proceeded to tell me about how the mansion is haunted.
  • The little kid who was probably around 4 or 5 who ripped open a pack of skittles. As me and the people in line watched the skittles scatter across the floor, he looked up and said. “It wasn’t me.”