JD-
Let me get this straight. It’s perfectly fine that some student back in the 90s used a pocket sized time machine to take extra classes, but my suggestion of using that same device to binge watch every episode of a Netflix series at the same time is “a wasteful use for such a priceless artifact.”
First day on the job.
Where in the world do I begin? Hello, my name is Jonathan Dart and, as of today, I am officially the IT guy at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.
You read that correctly. It took them until 2016, but both students and staff alike have finally caved and demanded that their cell phones work on school grounds, and with that request they had to find a “muggle” (a term I’m quickly learning to detest) to install wifi and maintain any technology that functions on school grounds.
So let’s make this clear to any wizards, witches, or IT muggles allowed into their circle out there. I just entered this “wizarding world” 3 days ago. This is all entirely new to me. I’m writing this because I’ve learned through the grapevine that other magical schools are planning on making the same jump, and I’m hoping my experiences can help other outsiders down the road.
As its my first day I really don’t have much advice to give. All I can do is stand here and wonder to myself what the hell I was thinking. For the record, I’m typing this on my iPhone while I ride a magic staircase. They better have beer in this world because I’m going to need a drink tonight.
I Have the POWER
When I was first starting out in this position I had easily become the target of many pranks from the students. Did you know there is a freaking spell that glues your feet to the ground? I know.
It took all of 2 days for them to quickly realize I literally have a switch that shuts off all the wifi access to the entire school. I don’t need forbidden curses. I have more power than any witch or wizard at this school could ever possibly imagine.