A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
1. DEMAND condom use 2. Hold your partners accountable for what happens in the bedroom. None of this “baby I can’t control myself around you” or “I just wanted you so bad” bullshit. 3. Coercion is real and it’s very scary and hard to identify in the moment. Establish a dialogue with your partner. Be clear on what you both want. Be clear on what you don’t want. Your boundaries should ALWAYS be respected. 4. Sex can be really emotionally and physically over-stimulating the first few times; don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask your partner to slow down, take a break, or even stop. 5. Focus less on pleasing your partner and more on exploring your partner. Everyone’s body is different and there are no “tricks” to better sex. Chances are, if you psych yourself out worrying over how well you’re “performing” then nobody’s going to have a good time. 6. Ask questions, offer suggestions. Despite what porn has probably taught you, talking during sex isn’t weird or taboo. Your partner isn’t a mind reader. They don’t know what feels good to you. [Pro-tip, a looot of people without clitorises aren’t fully aware of just HOW sensitive a clitoris is. They can be a little rough with them. Tell them to chill!!!!] 7. Your sex life is YOUR business. Don’t ever feel ashamed of how many or how few sexual partners/experiences you’re having. Do what you want, touch the people who want to touch you back, forget the rest. 8. DON’T FAKE YOUR ORGASMS!! Don’t fake your orgasms!! DON’TFAKEYOURORGAMS!! If your partner isn’t getting you there, let them know! Tell them how!! 9. There is more to sex than orgasms. Sex is a really cool way to establish intimacy and trust, to have a fun time, to relieve stress, to explore a person’s body and bring them pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are really cool and good, but your sex life is going to be a lot better if it doesn’t revolve around them. 10. LEARN ABOUT YOUR BODY!! This goes for everyone, but ESPECIALLY if you are a person in possession of a vulva, you have been discouraged and even actively kept from vital knowledge about your anatomy! Do some google searches, buy a human sexuality textbook, masturbate. 11. Virginity is a useless concept. It’s completely okay if your virginity is something important to you and I’m not trying to belittle that idea. Just, for the record, in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal. Literally nothing about you changes just because you bumped uglies with someone else.
This has been a public service announcement from your friendly internet poet.
So I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m quite certain, that canonically, Greg is probably the best lover on the show.
Sherlock would be unpredictable – either too intense, or too detached.
John would be very gentle and soft, alternating with fierce passion, but I feel like it’d be at the wrong times. Like, you need passion, and he’s gentle, or you need soft and he’s wild.
Irene has a specific skill set, but that means she’s also only best for a specific subset. And everything seems to indicate that her relationship with Kate is no exception.
Sally and Anderson cheat. Even that aside, I imagine Sally, giving everything she’s had to fight against her whole life to end up where she is, would refuse to let go and share the necessary vulnerability that makes sex truly spectacular. Anderson is woefully unobservant. He’d do the same things, not noticing what made you gasp with pleasure as compared to gasp in discomfort.
Mycroft would be too proper, if he deigned to his bodily needs at all. I feel like to lose any ounce of control would burst the damn so to speak, and so he’d be just as controlled in sex as he is in a diplomatic meeting.
Molly, I think would be perfectly lovely, albeit unadventurous. She’s mostly unobtrusive, and even in season 3, as she learns to speak up for herself more loudly, I can see that translating to getting the pleasure she wants. Whereas perhaps in the past, she’d just accept that she didn’t always achieve climax. (I’ll bet she does now, though).
Anthea is shrouded in too much mystery to make a good call. I daresay she likes the power and touch of intrigue, and that she’d be more turned on by the courtship than the sex itself.
Mrs Hudson might have won a few decades ago, but you know she’s got that hip now, dear.
I think it’s safe to say that Moriarty probably doesn’t take his sexual partner’s wants and needs into high consideration.
But Greg.
Greg.
Greg, who can see the good in Sherlock, despite the coarse personality Sherlock puts on, who can concede when he is out of his depth and ask for help? Greg, who can make the power play when he needs to, who knows when to push, and when to relent. Who rises to occasion when he’s needed, but doesn’t involve himself where he’s not needed. Greg can play the bad guy, the good guy, and anyone in between. He hopes for the best; gives second chances, and cares so much about what he does.
Now translate all that.
Greg, very much living in the moment, seeing the best of you, knowing when to ask what you like, and knowing how to find what you like just as well. Instinctively being the good, soft, gentle lover, or the rough, passionate fuck, because he always rises to the occasion. He knows when you need space, when you need comfort; he knows when to tell you what he needs, and he knows when it’s time to lay back and let you take what you need.
Not to mention:
(Of course this all assumes they are at the very least, not sex-adverse, and likely demi and/or allosexual. I think that many of the characters could be read in a variety of ways regarding their sexuality. This is just one interpretation.)
