okay but imagine IMAGINE a criminal organization like aim or hydra capturing the avengers and steve is brought before the commander idiot-in-charge and ofc this dude is prattling on about how the avengers are done for, how thor has been trapped in another realm and bruce banner is tranquilized and black widow and hawkeye are contained and he’s like “and your precious tony stark is working for us now, building a new age of weapons technology right in our labs”
and steve, who is tied to a chair btw, just starts CRACKING. UP. for a full minute. so much that tears are rolling down his cheeks and the chair and bonds are straining under his weight and movement and steve just can’t stop laughing and the commander dude yells “WHAT’S SO FUNNY” because steve has literally been laughing for 60 seconds and his minions are looking at him nervously
steve is like “you don’t know much about tony stark do you?” and goes into another fit of laughter.
another 60 seconds later, an explosion rocks the evil HQ building, shoot to thrill starts playing in the distance
Since Natasha and Bruce were sharing a room it means Steve and Tony must’ve shared a room and I like to think they had a deep philosophical conversation into the wee hours of the night
Tony: See, but, the hammer has been in the jet, and I’m flying the jet, so technically, I think that means I lifted it.
I’m glad you said organic because my first instinct was to be like “He would build himself one. Have you not met the bots?”
Also I love that you said “me and people who are wrong”. So clearly whether I agree with or contradict you, you are thinking in the true Tony Stark spirit and are to be commended. I mean for that alone I’m sure whatever you came up with was correct.
I feel like the only way Tony Stark acquires a pet is by accident, like, he would probably not seek one out. Or, well, he might, but he’d be like “I should get a cat. But a cat is not that interesting. Dogs are too needy. I should get something cool like, like a panther. What do panthers need in order to be happy? Shit, I can’t make a panther happy.” and it would just spiral from there into a mire of insecurity and anxiety.
So, given that it would be an accident, I don’t think we can say for sure what it would be. I think probably to stand any kind of chance of him bonding with it, it would have to be damaged somehow (emblematic of many aspects of Tony’s life) like missing a leg or with a broken wing or some kind of neediness that would hook into his neurotic overprotective streak and not allow him to give it to someone else to look after.
I think it would be really funny if he acquired an owl. An owl with a broken wing. Don’t ask how, he signed an NDA. And he built it a new bionic wing and one day Pepper’s all “What…what’s making that noise?” and Tony’s like “That’s Lovelace” and Pepper’s like “Did you bring a hooker in here” and Tony’s all “NO, LOVELACE IS DELIGHTFUL, don’t let her be mean to you, baby,” and then the owl pokes its head out of his hoodie and Pepper has a moment.
So yes that’s what I’m going with: Lovelace the demented cyborg owl.
Perfect post is perfect.
Okay I just laughed REALLY LOUD at work oh my god Lovelace’s face.
“better not be here to harm the human I will cut u”
